Excerpts from a Complicated Mind

It has been such a long time since I wrote something unrelated to work or school. For this serene and refreshing time to be able to do so, I am very thankful.

I was somewhat inspired by my sister Gel's writings, even if hers were motivated mainly by boredom...hehe...:-) As I browsed through her thoughts, I realized that she wrote simply and clearly--a reflection of how her life is right now. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Oh, how great it is to be younger. Things were simpler back then. This prompted me to think of why "now" was not as simple. Except for special occasions/events, my life, in a nutshell, comprises of the following major routines:
1. Waking up at 5 am
2. Preparing to go to work
3. Work/study when needed
4. Go home/go to school before going home
5. Sleep
6. Back to step 1

Hmm... my life in 6 steps... Looks and sounds simple to me. Of course, all these 6 steps presume that I have "meaningful interactions" with others. I say to myself that this is why life gets "complicated". In an attempt to defend this thesis statement, I offer the following supporting statements:
1. People, especially those you care about, have expectations that you cannot possibly meet.
2. It is difficult to fully understand others; it is better to shrug them off as unimportant.
3. There will always be individuals who are capable of inflicting harm on you regardless of whether they know this or not.

Pause.

The 3 statements are a far cry from the 6 steps cited before. As flimsy as their connection, a connection there still is.

Pause.

And so I propose a "simpler" reason for my life's "complications"--me.

More pause.

Steps 1 to 6 do not show me that my life is simple. They show that life has no meaning. The lacking "meaning" is found in my interaction with others, which then triggers the 3 statements presented earlier. I, therefore, conclude that life is not meaningful if there are no complications. Life can be complicated but I need not be.

Meaningful pause.

To answer my 3 statements, I propose the following thoughts:
1. You cannot please everyone. Truth is, you have to meet your own expectations first before you can determine if you still need to meet the expectation of others.
2. You don't need to understand others but there are people that you must learn to accept even if you don't understand. For the rest that you do not need to accept or do not need your acceptance, they too are important in the greater scheme of things, even if they are insignificant in your immediate circle.
3. There are far greater individuals who love me more than those who have the power to harm me.

As random and sporadic as my thoughts seem to be, I learned a few things by just typing away:
1. We can think and talk about life all we want, but living it will be the only thing that matters at the end.
2. When things get twisted, pause. Taking pauses allows us to slow down and to view same things differently.
3. I do not need to have a third realization although enumerating only two looks 'bitin' on screen. =)