I found a little spare time to do this:=P Interesting...
I'm a O30-C64-E22-A50-N9 Big Five!!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Excerpts from a Complicated Mind
It has been such a long time since I wrote something unrelated to work or school. For this serene and refreshing time to be able to do so, I am very thankful.
I was somewhat inspired by my sister Gel's writings, even if hers were motivated mainly by boredom...hehe...:-) As I browsed through her thoughts, I realized that she wrote simply and clearly--a reflection of how her life is right now. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Oh, how great it is to be younger. Things were simpler back then. This prompted me to think of why "now" was not as simple. Except for special occasions/events, my life, in a nutshell, comprises of the following major routines:
1. Waking up at 5 am
2. Preparing to go to work
3. Work/study when needed
4. Go home/go to school before going home
5. Sleep
6. Back to step 1
Hmm... my life in 6 steps... Looks and sounds simple to me. Of course, all these 6 steps presume that I have "meaningful interactions" with others. I say to myself that this is why life gets "complicated". In an attempt to defend this thesis statement, I offer the following supporting statements:
1. People, especially those you care about, have expectations that you cannot possibly meet.
2. It is difficult to fully understand others; it is better to shrug them off as unimportant.
3. There will always be individuals who are capable of inflicting harm on you regardless of whether they know this or not.
Pause.
The 3 statements are a far cry from the 6 steps cited before. As flimsy as their connection, a connection there still is.
Pause.
And so I propose a "simpler" reason for my life's "complications"--me.
More pause.
Steps 1 to 6 do not show me that my life is simple. They show that life has no meaning. The lacking "meaning" is found in my interaction with others, which then triggers the 3 statements presented earlier. I, therefore, conclude that life is not meaningful if there are no complications. Life can be complicated but I need not be.
Meaningful pause.
To answer my 3 statements, I propose the following thoughts:
1. You cannot please everyone. Truth is, you have to meet your own expectations first before you can determine if you still need to meet the expectation of others.
2. You don't need to understand others but there are people that you must learn to accept even if you don't understand. For the rest that you do not need to accept or do not need your acceptance, they too are important in the greater scheme of things, even if they are insignificant in your immediate circle.
3. There are far greater individuals who love me more than those who have the power to harm me.
As random and sporadic as my thoughts seem to be, I learned a few things by just typing away:
1. We can think and talk about life all we want, but living it will be the only thing that matters at the end.
2. When things get twisted, pause. Taking pauses allows us to slow down and to view same things differently.
3. I do not need to have a third realization although enumerating only two looks 'bitin' on screen. =)
I was somewhat inspired by my sister Gel's writings, even if hers were motivated mainly by boredom...hehe...:-) As I browsed through her thoughts, I realized that she wrote simply and clearly--a reflection of how her life is right now. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Oh, how great it is to be younger. Things were simpler back then. This prompted me to think of why "now" was not as simple. Except for special occasions/events, my life, in a nutshell, comprises of the following major routines:
1. Waking up at 5 am
2. Preparing to go to work
3. Work/study when needed
4. Go home/go to school before going home
5. Sleep
6. Back to step 1
Hmm... my life in 6 steps... Looks and sounds simple to me. Of course, all these 6 steps presume that I have "meaningful interactions" with others. I say to myself that this is why life gets "complicated". In an attempt to defend this thesis statement, I offer the following supporting statements:
1. People, especially those you care about, have expectations that you cannot possibly meet.
2. It is difficult to fully understand others; it is better to shrug them off as unimportant.
3. There will always be individuals who are capable of inflicting harm on you regardless of whether they know this or not.
Pause.
The 3 statements are a far cry from the 6 steps cited before. As flimsy as their connection, a connection there still is.
Pause.
And so I propose a "simpler" reason for my life's "complications"--me.
More pause.
Steps 1 to 6 do not show me that my life is simple. They show that life has no meaning. The lacking "meaning" is found in my interaction with others, which then triggers the 3 statements presented earlier. I, therefore, conclude that life is not meaningful if there are no complications. Life can be complicated but I need not be.
Meaningful pause.
To answer my 3 statements, I propose the following thoughts:
1. You cannot please everyone. Truth is, you have to meet your own expectations first before you can determine if you still need to meet the expectation of others.
2. You don't need to understand others but there are people that you must learn to accept even if you don't understand. For the rest that you do not need to accept or do not need your acceptance, they too are important in the greater scheme of things, even if they are insignificant in your immediate circle.
3. There are far greater individuals who love me more than those who have the power to harm me.
As random and sporadic as my thoughts seem to be, I learned a few things by just typing away:
1. We can think and talk about life all we want, but living it will be the only thing that matters at the end.
2. When things get twisted, pause. Taking pauses allows us to slow down and to view same things differently.
3. I do not need to have a third realization although enumerating only two looks 'bitin' on screen. =)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Liham
The following is an open letter to my team mate and my best friend. Posting of this letter has been approved by the latter.
------------------------
February 22, 2007
My Dearest 'Bbq',
Happy start of our fifth year together (ngayon pa nga lang yung first day.hmph!)!
In retrospect, the past four years have been filled with new insights and emotions, with the positive and enlightening outnumbering the sad and hurtful ones. Who would've thought?! Then again, that might precisely be the point. Not "thinking" alone. It has taken a lot of courage, compromise, lowering of pride, little sacrifices, difficult decisions, and, most importantly, prayers. Expectations, old habits and perceptions had to be revised along the way. It was not always easy but the struggle became beautiful because of how the struggle took place--always as a team. A team with God and service as honorary members. For how could we have met and persisted otherwise?
Spending time with you is like taking an out of town trip everyday. It's something we both enjoy doing (buti na lang lakwatsero ka din) even if we dream about it more than we actually do. Sure, there are forced stopovers and bumps along the way and sometimes we run out of gas or money or both. But by God's grace, either one of us, or someone or something else, fills infor the deficiency. I am also thankful for the simplicity and optimism that we share most of the time (take note: not always). When the gas runs out, we use it as an opportunity to walk hand in hand. When we run out of money to pay for the toll fees, we take the service road. When we do not have airconditioning, we do not notice it that much because the music blaring onthe radio turns out to be great. When the radio is dead, the creaks and screeches of the world around us, especially the car we're riding on, delightfully take its place. There is music even when there is silence.
In total, these past years have been about choices for our team,individually or as a team. Thank you for choosing to be patient and kind even though you're tired. For choosing to spend time with me, to listen and to share what you have and what you know. Thank you for the choices that make us better each year. For all the good intentions and well thought actions, thank you. We also know that some of our decisions were characterized more by our weaknesses rather than love. Again, I am sorry for the times I have hurt you this way. As for me, I have personally learned how to deal with that one choice that you made and I have started to learn howto try to pick up the pieces of things that were inevitably broken. Although things will never be whole the same way, something stronger and more durable is formed by that single act of forgiveness. But I will forever thank you for your honesty and for the love that allowed you to be that honest. That too was a choice on your part.
The point of the matter is that I love you and I'm enjoying our yet uninterrupted "trip". And where do we go next? Bohol? Cebu? Palawan? Maybe.Why not? With you? Anywhere. Again, happy fourth my 'bbq'. The best is yet to come.Ü
Love,
Marie
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