Then, because I was just me, I decided to think about why I was feeling that way, so I did. I ended up feeling worse. So I decided to think about whether it was right for me to think that way. I saw two differing schools of thoughts here--The first tells me "yes" based on the attending circumstances. References that I quote here are mostly literary.*wink*. The second "school of thought" told me "no". It was after all our prayer to "give and not to count the cost, to hide and not to heal the wounds...". So there. I didn't feel bad anymore. But I just had to find sympathy, or companionship at the very least, from reliable Google.
Here are the nuggets of wisdom that I found:
1. According to Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D. Psychology, and I quote from his websitehttp://www.docdreyfus.com/psychologically-speaking/psychology/the-need-to-feel-special/:
"The need to feel special is common to human beings. We want to know that we matter to others; we want to be seen. We strive to achieve some special status in the eyes of others; how we are viewed by others matters to us...When we are singled out for special treatment, given special privileges, receive special favors, we feel special... A problem can arise however, when we feel uncomfortable with acknowledging our desire to be special. Many people not only feel uncomfortable with this desire, but will go to great lengths to deny their desire for specialness as if it were a sign of weakness or other flaw in their personality."
Dr. Dreyfus goes further by providing thoughts that may be helpful to self-healing:You cannot assess your specailness to someone on the basis of their meeting your expectations.Accept that not being given special treatment does not diminish you or the affection someone may have toward you.Do not judge yourself.Acknowledge your hurt without blaming the other person.Accept that being disappointed is a human reaction to having expectations of others that are not met.Do not evaluate relationships based on a single disappointment.Do your own inner homework by asking yourself: have you ever felt special; is it easy for you to feel special; do you easily trust people; do you think you are worthy of being considered special?
2. Dr. Margaret Paul, in her article entitled "The Need to Feel Special" posted in http://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/668/the-need-to-feel-special.html encourages one to search for healthy special-ness that requires one to stop pulling on others but accept full responsibility of making yourself feel special. She recommends that we "take responsibility" in all areas of our lives. Doing so will make us all "internally special".
In a nutshell, the experts told me to acknowledge my feeling because it is natural but I should get over it. There. I knew that. I just needed confirmation from special people. :)
