Chaos

Lunch break. The much awaited hiatus between two working halves of the day. Today, a lot of things are on my mind and even on my desk. This is the period when I'm supposed to be able to sort through all the rubble between the morning and the afternoon. Today, there will be no semblance of order, even in this entry. I shall write with no qualms about coherence and correctness. I am writing if only to silence the disquiet inside me. I am writing for my benefit alone.

Two piles of papers are atop my table. One for pending work, the other for the those that are in progress. Neither one seems to be on the verge of completion. Suddenly, a text message comes and the day begins again.

People always ask why things have to end. Why do they have to begin in the first place? Things that end first began and so an end is just the inevitable conclusion to a beginning.

If you are sleepy and hungry at the same time, what do you do first? Eat or sleep? The answer to this question will not completely satiate the body as only both will. This is the closest to how I can describe what I feel right now. There is so much to do and yet to accomplish one is to accomplish nothing at all. Sigh...

Today, I am emotional. Today, I am my alter ego.

And then there was light. 1pm comes too soon.

Let the work begin.

Music Sense

Lyrics before melody. This is how I know if I like a song or not. Most people listen to a song's lyrics only after they've decided that they like the melody. I operate on the reverse.

One fine morning, it suddenly dawned on me: my outlook in life is a reflection of the music that I decide to like. As I belong to a family of music lovers, I know almost all the songs that I sing by heart. Here are lines from some songs that humble, uplift, inspire, and enlighten me in those crucial moments of boredom, insecurity, and dementia:

All the shiny little trinkets of temptation, something new instead of somethin old
All you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface and it's fool's gold ("Power of Two" by the Indigo Girls)

Lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my life is found ("Drive" by Incubus)

I just found out there's no such thing as a real world, just a lie you've got to rise above ("No Such Thing" by John Mayer)

Compliment what she does, send her roses just because...if she wants to stay, find one hundred ways ("100 Ways" by James Ingram)

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew ("Colors of the Wind" by Vanessa Williams)

You know there's always more than one way to say exactly what you mean to say ("Out of My Head" by Fastball)

Even if there is pain now, everything will be alright for as long as the world still turns, there will be night and day ("Rainbow" by Southborder)

No matter what tomorrow holds, my praise will know no bounds for your presence will be there again to guide me ("You are My Light")

Somebody once asked: could you spare some change for gas, I need to get myself away from this place. I said: yep, what a concept; I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change
("All Star" by Smashmouth)

Fathers be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers so mothers be good to your daughters too ("Daughters" by John Mayer)

Let the rain fall, I don't care. I'm yours and certainly you're mine and it's brighter than sunshine ("Brighter than Sunshine" by Aqualung)

You have forgiven me so many times it seems. I feel I'm not what you might call a worthy Christian after all. Though I love you so, temptation finds its way to me ("Take me Out of the Dark" by Gary Valenciano)

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. Just to be with you is having the best day of my life ("Thank You" by Dido)

We're just another piece of the puzzle, just another part of the plan ("Ever Since the World Began")

Stand up, little girl. A broken heart can't be that bad. When it's true, it's true. Fate will twist the both of you ("To Be With You" by Mr. Big)

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon, maibabalik ba ang kahapon? ("Kanlungan" by Noel Cabangon)

Tulay ng Maykapal inuugnay ang ating pagmamahalan gawa ng lakas na 'di guguho sa minsang pagsubok na napagdadaanan ng buhay ("Awit ng Saya" by M.Y.M.P.)

All of my hopes and all of my plans, my heart and my hands are lifted to You ("I Offer My Life")

Don't need the sun to shine to make me smile. Don't care if it's dark outside 'cause I got you. And though the rain may fall, no I won't care at all ("Don't Need The Sun to Shine" by Gabrielle)

Friends are there when you need them; they're even there when you don't (Theme from "Garfield and Friends" cartoons)

These are just a few that I could come up with at the moment. I just know that my life will always be filled with music. My life, after all, is my ultimate song.